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"Sticks and stones may break conference call numbers bones, but names will never hurt me."

Is that so? I would beg to differ and if you ask my seventh grader, he would declare that the home remortgage he felt from being laughed at, was no different than the pain he'd felt when he'd fallen at the skate park.

I had designed a stress-free day with my boys: We were going to take advantage of the beautiful fall day, with our brand new roller blades and head to the skate park. After a twenty minute argument about wearing protective gear, we were on our way, though everyone continued muttering under their breath.

Why do we need knee pads? These wrist guards aren't comfortable. Nobody wears elbow pads...

It was maddening, to say the least. I mean, I was given the job of "mom" because someone, somewhere, believed that I was capable of making sure my children were kept safe. That was the most important part of this job, wasn't it? I was willing to pick and choose my arguments carefully, but I had seen this one too many Consolidate federal loans before. I pleaded with them that the gear would keep us from having to leave the park in tears. I tried to remind them of the times we'd left bandaged, bruised and crying.

"I draw the line this time," I said firmly. "I want this to be fun and am not leaving here with you guys crying again...wear the pads."

As they watched the other twenty teenagers gliding up and down the ramps, some with helmets, some without and none with any other protective gear, I could almost hear their little heads screaming: no one else is wearing this stuff! I didn't care. It wasn't my job to protect the community, just my own children.

Begrudgingly they began and I watched them gracefully skate up and down several times, stopping often to talk to their friends about their new skates. They fell several times and I smiled, wanting to say: see, good thing you had those wrist guards on! I began to feel good about my decision, until both of them came towards me with their heads hanging low. The older one was crying and pulling his helmet and skates off, before I could say a word.

What happened? I asked.
They're making fun of me. I'm doing the best I can. I can't help it if I fall...I'm just starting out. Like they never fell when they were just learning????!

My heart went out to him as I remembered that pain so clearly. This was a child who would never dream of saying a mean word to someone who was trying their best. He was raised with the constant reminder of: Choose your words carefully. It matters what you say and how you say it. It all matters.

I gave him an empathetic glance, wishing I could reprimand those kids. But knew I couldn't. I wanted to give him a hug that protected him from the pain of being in seventh grade. But knew I couldn't. I wanted him to wear protective gear to keep him safe, but knew I couldn't. So I did the only thing I could. I put my arms around him, offered some solutions and waited for him to choose.

I just want to go home, he said.

I knew that those children were his friends and didn't really want to hurt him. I knew they only laughed, because someone had once laughed at them too. Yet it was a reminder for all of us that day to be conscious of what we say to other people and how they might be affected by our words. It was also a reminder for me that as much as I want to protect my children, sometimes you just have to fall down...to learn how to get back up.

My heart ached for him as he gathered his wrist guards, helmet and $150 skates he had just bought. My heart ached as I watched his younger brother feel his pain as well. And all I could think was: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can hurt as well.

Lesley Geller is a Business Coach. She helps successful professionals exceed their expectations of growth. She works with small business owners, as well as individuals in large corporations looking to reach the next level. Lesley graduated from the University of Maryland is certified as a Coach through the Coach Training Alliance, which is recognized by the International Coach Federation. She is also a Freelance Writer and co-author of: 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. . For more information about how to reach the potential you're capable of, visit her website at www.LesleyGeller.comwww.LesleyGeller.com or e-mail her at Lesley@LesleyGeller.com